The Closet Locket
by PT-chan
Summary: Ellie doesn't believe the story the shopkeeper told her...until the Humanoid Typhoon shows up in her closet! [AU]
1. A Rabbit Hole of Sorts

Hello!  It's been a long time since I wrote a fic, ne?  Eh, can't be helped.  I got the idea for this story from Scarlet Rurouni and Thestral1.  I have their permission to use the story idea (sort of), but I'm doing it slightly different, so that I don't copy them.  Ain't I smart? *crickets chirp* …bah, whatever.  Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun.  Please don't sue.  PLEASE!!!

~~~*~~~*~~~

I held the locket up to eye level. "A magical necklace?"

"Yes," the crusty old man said excitedly, rubbing his hands together. "The Closet Locket can transport you to another world, another reality.  There are dangers though.  Bring anything from an alien world to this one, and you can not go back until the next new moon."

I gave the shopkeeper a look.  I didn't buy the fairy tale, but the charm was pretty cool. "I'll take it," I said, digging into my pocket. "What's the damage?"

"Seventeen dollars."

"Seventeen bucks?  What is this, a highway robbery?!" I muttered, pulling out a twenty.

Money was exchanged, and I left the shop. "Cheap antiques indeed," I muttered, "I barely have enough money for a bus ride home!"

I sat down on the bench at the bus stop and took a closer look at the locket.  It looked like it was made of gold, and was very tarnished.  It was shaped like a teardrop, and the back part was a little bit bigger than the front.  A complicated design was engraved on the little door thing with a small pearl at the center.  I was about to open it when the bus rolled up.  I pocketed my trinket and got on.

I stared out the window as the world flashed by outside. _Shoot, I need to write that essay for English class!  How do I let these things get by me…and I've barely started on that chapter I promised to write for the Trigun collaboration! Stupid Writer's Block._  For the rest of the ride I tried to force a story past the invisible brick wall in my imagination.

The bus reached my stop, and I got off, heading for home.  I'd finally gotten a not-so-crappy idea, and was trying to work with it.  I was so focused I nearly missed my house. _Nice one, Ellie no baka!_

I wasn't tow step into the house when my mom yelled for me. "Honey!  Your father and I will be away for a week.  Take care of your sister!"

"Okay, Mom!" I yelled, running to my room.

Jumping on my bed, I turned on the radio and pulled out my laptop. "Okay, let's see how far I get before the Writer's Block catches up to me.  Where did I leave off last time…ah, there it is." I delved back into the story I was franticly trying to keep from dying.

An hour later found me struggling with the cursed Block again. " 'Vash ran down the alley, and…' _Damnit!_  I lost it again!" I groaned and fell back on my pillows. "And I was so close, too…guess I should save for the night.  Third time I've hit a wall."

I tucked my laptop back under my bed, and was about to go get dinner when I remembered the locket. "Where'd I put my old jewelry box?" I muttered, searching my room. "Oi!  Jamie!" I yelled, "Did you take my box?"

"Yeah, but I put it back in your closet!" she yelled back.

"Ugh, couldn't put it on my dresser or something, could you?  Little rat," I strode over to my closet. "Ah well, can't be­--" I opened the door. "Huh?"

Instead of the hanging jackets and pants I expected, I was staring into a small, vacant, wood-walled room.  One table stood in the corner, and another door was set into the opposite wall, along with a grimy window.  I slowly stepped into the room. "This is new…"

The door slammed shut behind me, startling me and causing the locket to drop from my already sweaty hands.  I whirled around and yanked the door open.  Unfortunately, it no longer led to my bedroom, but a room similar to the one I was in now.

"Not good."

Gunfire sounded outside, making my heart jump into my throat.  The bangs and shouting came closer, and I searched for someplace to hide.  Finding no alternative, I leapt behind the table, knocking it over as I went.  The door that once led to my world slammed shut of it's own accord, and the other burst open, admitting--

_Vash the Stampede?!_

My mind reeled at the sight I was seeing. _How the hell can this be?  He's an anime character!  Ink and paper!_ As though I was being hit on the head like a melon, I remembered what the old shopkeeper had told me. _The damned locket!  That's what did this!  I am so going to kill that geezer the next time I see him…_

While I was experiencing the revelation of a lifetime, Vash had noticed the locket on the floor and was inspecting it. "Hm?  What's this doing here?" he pondered.

"He's in here!" a man yelled outside, startling both me and Vash.

"Shit!" Vash raced across the room to the other door, locket in hand--

"Ah! Wait!" I shrieked, lunging after him.  I grabbed his waist just as he opened the door--

We tumbled into my room, and I quickly got up and shut the door to what was once my closet. "Baka!  Gimme that!" I swiped the locket out of the startled Humanoid Typhoon's hands. "Do you always pick things up off the ground and take them for yourself?"

Vash was speechless. "S-sorry, I didn't--"

"No, no, of course you didn't," I murmured. "You wouldn't know what this is, what was I thinking?" I rubbed my temples. "Okay, those men should be gone by now, I just need to send him back…"

Absentmindedly, I grabbed the confused gunman's wrist and hauled him over to my closet door, opened it, walked inside--

And slammed into the back wall of my now very small closet.

"Uh…what are you doing?" Vash asked me.

"Well, I was _trying_ to send you back where you belong--" Another flashback. "Crap!  You can't go back until the next new moon!  That's two weeks from now!  Aw, man…" I turned and looked up at Vash's confused face. "Looks like you're stuck here for a while…"

He blinked. "Right, but…where's here?  I'm guessing I'm not on Gunsmoke any more?"

"Right in one.  Welcome to Earth." I said simply.

The great Humanoid Typhoon, who had stood up to countless horrors and withstood many terrible shocks, promptly fainted upon hearing this information.  Well, he sort of wobbled a bit before fainting, but I there was no getting around the fact that having a unconscious seven-foot-two gunman laying on top of you is _not_ very comfortable.

"Note to self: buffer all shocking information when in falling range."

~~~*~~~*~~~

Ha hah!  Fear the shortness of it!  But have no fear; the next chapter shall be longer! …I hope.

Please review!  I need to know if I should shoot myself or not!


	2. Chinese Food is Your God

Gwaa!  I return, and have obviously not shot myself! ^_^ Unless this is my ghost with selective amnesia… o_0 Creepily ties in with another story that popped into my head today…Any hoo, new chappie, yay!  And now to reply to the nice, nice reviewers!

Scarlet Rurouni – Ha hah, I had another idea for that part, but the faint was funnier.  And I got more fun ideas of what to do with our little V-kun… *evil grin*

DarkShadowsfan – Hee hee, thanks!  I like your story a lot, too. ^_^ Hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my two front teeth.  So it's kinda worthless to sue me.

~~~*~~~*~~~

"Oof.  Man, he's heavy…" Jamie helped me haul Vash onto my bed. "Okay, first rule: if Mom and Dad call, he's not here," I said, giving Jamie a 'do-it-or-else' look.

"But they can't do anything out in Atlanta…" Jamie said, confused.

"Oh, yes, they can.  And besides, telling them a wanted gunman from another world is staying with us?  We'd never hear the end of it!"

"Correction: _you'd_ never hear the end of it.  I didn't do anything." Jamie smirked.

I shrugged. "Fine.  Guess you don't care if I tell Mom how--"

"AAAHH! Okay, okay, I won't tell!"

"Good girl…" I said, patting Jamie on the head.

"Stop it!" she whined, pushing my hand away.

I grabbed Jamie's arm and dragged her out of the room. "Okay, you get pillows and a blanket, and I'll find something to eat."

"Why?"

"Comfort food, duh."

I walked into the kitchen, and started looking through the fridge. "Hmm…well, donuts would be the best thing, but we don't have any…and I'm low on salmon sandwiches…and salmon for that matter.  Maybe some beef and broccoli…orange chicken too.  Shame rice has horrible texture when re-heated…" I grabbed an assortment of Chinese takeout boxes and loaded two plates with food.  I shoved them in the microwave and set the timer for two minutes. "If Jamie's hungry, she can heat up some of her own…now where are those chopsticks?"

A loud smashing sound jolted me from my thoughts. "Crap!" I ran down the hall. "Don't have broken anything, don't have broken anything…" I burst into my bedroom. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

Vash looked like a little kid who just got caught doing something naughty.  My boombox lay on the floor. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered, as I inspected it, "I was looking at it, when I heard something outside and dropped it…"

I sighed with relief. "Well, it's not broken, so no harm done.  Just be careful, alright?" I looked at him. "What?"

"Dang…" he said. "I thought that was a dream."

I laughed. "Sorry, I'm flesh and blood, unless you're dreaming.  Which, in a weird way, I wish you were…" I sighed. "Well, what happened, happened, and we have to make the best of it.  Come on." I grabbed Vash's wrist. "Let's get you something to eat."

I hauled him down the hallway, and was intercepted by Jamie. "Is everything alright?  I heard you yell…"

"He just dropped my boombox.  It's not broken, as far as I can tell." I replied. "I'm just getting him something to eat." We continued down the hallway, and I released Vash's arm.

"Did you get me anything?" Jamie asked.

"Naw, you'll have to heat it up yourself."

I looked back at Vash. _He seems quiet…heh, maybe he's using a 'self hypnotic suggestion to keep himself from freaking out._'

We entered the kitchen.  I opened the microwave and pulled out the two steaming plates. "Do you know how to use chopsticks?" I asked Vash.

"Uhh…no, I don't." He seemed off-balance.  I grinned.

"Relax.  I'm not going to kill you.  Jamie might bore you out of your mind, but…"

Jamie shouted a "Hey!" at that comment, and I laughed, putting the plates on the table. "Sit down, food might help you settle down."

Hesitantly, as though he wasn't sure if this was a dream or not, he sat down, and began to eat.  For a couple of minutes, we were silent, just eating our food.

"Are either of you two even alive?!" Jamie griped, snapping me out of my reverie.  A quick glance in Vash's direction confirmed my guess of him being in a similar mindset as me. "Ugh!  It's like watching old people sleep, except you aren't old bats!"

"Have a bit of a tongue today, Jamie?" I asked, staring at her with half lidded eyes.  She replied with a raspberry.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." I looked over at Vash, who was still as confused as I'd ever seen him. _Must…resist…urge…to…glomp…_ "I might as well tell you what happened." _Even if I barely understand it myself…_

I dug into my pocket, and pulled out the little charm. "As far as I can tell, the whole problem revolves around this locket.  The old man I bought this from called it the Closet Locket." I fiddled with it as I spoke. "According to what he said, when a person uses this, they're magically transported from this world to another.  And if you take anything from that world to this one, you can't return until the next new moon." I looked up. "That's all I know."

There was silence as Vash and my little sister absorbed this information. "So…I'm stuck here?" the gunman asked.

"…yeah."

"Lemme see that thing." I looked up to see Jamie leaning across the table, holding her hand out.

"I see no harm in it," I said, handing the locket over.  Jamie immediately began to inspect it from all sides.  I turned back to my new guest. "Are you okay?" I asked, lightly touching his hand.

He smiled at me, but it didn't seem sincere. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"Hey, the little door won't open!"

"Huh?" I stared at Jamie dumbfoundedly.

She glared at me. "I'm not lying!  It's like it was super-glued shut somehow!"

I rolled my eyes. "Great.  And with my luck, the only way to solve this problem soner is trapped inside that thing." I slammed my head on the table. "Ugh…"

Jamie, taking the hint, dragged Vash out of the kitchen. "Come on, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping, and…" Her voice became muffled as she went down the hall.  I closed my eyes.

_Godspamit, why me?_

~~~*~~~*~~~

So?  How much did it suck? Huh?

Please review!


	3. For Lack of a Better Title

Wow, I have no luck in the 'free time' department.  Wilson has broken THREE TIMES.  And my Dad takes forever to fix him!  Argh.  Well, I'll post part of the chapter now, and part of it later.  Sorry! ;_;

Scarlet Rurouni - Glad you liked it!  But I have no idea what you're talking about…what hanyou? *hides her Inuyasha plush* XD Actually, it _was_ going to be the full moon, but I thought that was too typical.  And Vash is MINE! *growlhiss*

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A loud, insistent beeping interrupted my frolicking with purple penguins,  Blearily opening my eyes, I half-slid half-rolled out of bed. "Ugh…what a kooky dream…" I pulled a fleece robe on over my nightshirt.  Shuffling down the hallway, I tried to figure out what I had eaten that had caused the odd mental adventure.

When I came into the living room, I stared around to be sure.  Since there was no one on the couch and the knitted blankets were hidden behind it as per usual, I assumed it was the mushrooms.

Shuffleshuffleshuffle.  Get pancake mix, eggs, milk, vanilla, bowl.  Begin mixing.

"What 'cha doing?"

"ACK!!" I nearly spilled the batter.  I glared over my shoulder at the curious needle noggin. "Do you have to do that?"

Vash blinked. "Do what?"

"And why couldn't you have just been a dream?!" I shouted.  A distand thud told me Jamie was now awake.  But I didn't care, I was on a roll. "Now I have to freaking _baby-sit_ you!  Can my life get any worse?  Don't answer that.  Now, if you don't mind, I have pancakes to make." Baleful glare.

"Oookay.  I'll be over there." Vash slowly backed out of the kitchen, hands held up in front of him.  Then he fell over the couch.  I grinned, despite my irritation.

"Always good for a laugh…" I said, turning back to the batter.

I'd just gotten the lumps unclumped and was frying the first batch when Jamie came in.  She looked over to see Vash sulking on the couch.

"Crap.  It wasn't a dream?"

"Unfortunately not.  We'll have to figure out what to do with him."

"Why are you helping me?" Vash asked. "You don't even know me."

"Actually, we kinda do.  Hre, there's a animated TV show that tells of your adventures from the point in time that you met Milly and Meryl." I flipped the pancakes over. "It's quite popular." I didn't want to say anything about Knives, lest he'd been yanked out mid-series.

"People…enjoy watching me?" Vash asked, flabbergasted.

"Yup.  You've got legions of fans." I put the finished pancakes onto a plate and handed it to Jamie. "Put there on the table, will ya?"

"Sure.  Should I get the maple syrup?"

"And the boysenberry, too.  Vash might like that." I busied myself making more pancakes.  My grandma knew how to make them big and thin, but mine always turned out small and thick.

~~~*~~~*~~~

Please don't kill me… *covers head*


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